It’s been a while since I’ve written or mentioned anything about sex, but a recent question from of our young adults on “how far is too far” for an unmarried couple and me teaching on “Chastity and Charity” tomorrow night at our Wednesday Night Adult Bible Study has gotten me thinking sexually again…in a good way that is!
During some of my readings and research I found this great article by Tim Lane and CCEF – How Far is Too Far? Here’s a blurb:
Since modern dating was not the habit when the Bible was written, answering this question requires careful reflection and the application of general guidelines of biblical wisdom. Scripture is always asking, “What does it look like to love and serve the other person in such a way that they are encouraged to grow in grace?” This should be the fundamental starting point for all of your decisions involving physical contact with someone you are dating.
Practically this means not doing anything that may hinder your date’s growth in grace or create problems for him or her now and in the future. Can a couple hold hands? Is it permissible to kiss? These seem to be questions where there is a strong measure of freedom. Factors that impact how you apply the Bible to this situation are shaped in some measure by the situation. A couple in their early teens, a couple that just started dating, and a couple that is thinking about marriage might each draw boundaries in different places.
How can you tell if even holding hands and kissing is going too far? Whenever your romantic activity leads to more involved physical touching, that seemingly harmless physical involvement should be up for discussion. If you, as a couple, are moving in the direction of doing things that are reserved for marriage, then questions should be asked. Deep, exclusive romantic involvement should not be the norm in a person’s life unless the relationship is moving towards marriage…