Jack Bauer Facts

There has not been a terrorist attack in the United States since Jack Bauer first appeared on television.

Ordinary people have panic attacks. Chuck Norris has Jack Bauer's attacks!

Don't even ask what Jack Bauer would do for a Klondike bar...

Terrorists dread the day in October that Daylight Savings Time ends. Jack Bauer gets 25 hours in which to kill them.

Jack Bauer once lost reception on his cell phone. 24 hours later AT&T announced that it would have more bars in more places.

If Rosa Parks was in Jack Bauer's seat she would move to the back

Vin Diesel can be rearranged to say "I end lives." Jack Bauer can be rearranged to say "Jack Bauer," which means the same thing.

Kiefer Sutherland drinks to forget all the terrible things Jack Bauer has done.

If everyone listened to Jack Bauer, the show would be called 12.

Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.

Jack Bauer made a brief cameo in the film "Stand By Me" as the local bully. His character got so pissed off when the boys didn't let him take the dead body that seven years later, he killed River Phoenix. Jack Bauer never forgets.      

Harry Houdini is the world's second greatest escape artist. The First is Jack Bauer. I never saw Houdini bite a guy's neck in order to escape.           

Jack Bauer doesn't need a translator, torture sounds the same in every language.  

Jack Bauer refused a syringe at a blood bank. Instead, he asked for a gun and a bucket.    

Jack Bauer does not run out of ammunition. He simply lets everyone else have their moment to shine.

Jack Bauer could get off the Lost island in 24 hours.          

Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.      

The war in Iraq will end when Jack Bauer vacations there.             

1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight. 

Jack Bauer is the only man to use a Q without a U. 

The Boogieman checks his closet for Jack Bauer       

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